Want to see through a porthole into the life of a child recovering from a brain tumour?
Want to get to know a superhero, and the people around him who help him dust off his cloak?
Welcome to The T Word.
The T Word began with a diagnosis that changed everything.
At the end of December 2018, my son Tate became seriously ill and was diagnosed with a high-grade embryonal, cancerous brain tumour. In the space of a few days, our ordinary family life was turned upside down and we found ourselves on a road we had never intended to travel.
There was no map.
So I started writing.
I’m Tate’s mum. I’m Nell’s mum. I’m a co-parent, a partner, a storyteller, an overthinker, a collector of notebooks and someone who has always wanted to write.
I just never imagined that it would be my son’s diagnosis that finally gave me something I had to write about.
The T Word is my little corner of the internet where I share our story, in words, pictures, observations, laughter, tears and everything in between.
It’s about Tate, but it’s also about all the things that surround him.
It’s about parenting a child who has had cancer.
It’s about recovery and the bits nobody necessarily talks about afterwards.
It’s about family life when the rule book has been thrown out of the window.
It’s about siblings, school, hospitals, appointments, uncertainty and the strange things that become completely normal when you’ve been living an extraordinary life.
And sometimes, it’s simply about being a mother trying to work out what on earth comes next.
The road paved for us has had its fair share of potholes.
There have been bumps, twists and unexpected turns. There have been peaks that have made us feel like we’re on top of the world, and troughs that have felt almost impossible to climb out of.
Some days have been frightening.
Some have been heartbreaking.
Some have been downright ridiculous.
And some have been filled with the kind of joy that makes you realise just how precious the ordinary things are.
I’ll share all of that here.
Not because I have all the answers, I absolutely don’t, but because I know how powerful it can be to read something written by someone who has been there.
If our experiences can help another parent feel a little less alone, help someone understand the world of childhood cancer a little better, or simply make somebody smile on a difficult day, then putting these words out into the world feels worthwhile.
I’ve always wanted to write.
I am the proud owner of a frankly ridiculous number of notebooks, most of which contain the beginnings of stories, thoughts, lists and ideas that never quite made it any further.
Then Tate became ill.
Writing initially became a form of therapy for me, a way of getting the thoughts and emotions out of my head and onto a page.
Because when your world changes overnight, your thoughts can feel like a mass of colourful streamers thrown into the air: tangled, chaotic and impossible to make sense of.
Writing helped me pull at one strand at a time.
It gave me somewhere to put the fear.
The frustration.
The humour.
The hope.
And, importantly, the love.
Over time, what began as therapy has grown into something much bigger.
The T Word is now becoming a platform for stories, awareness, honesty, humour and the things I’ve learned along the way.
While Tate’s cancer journey is at the heart of The T Word, it isn’t the whole of me, or our family.
I also bring with me around 30 years of experience working in the children and young people with disabilities sector.
That professional experience, alongside everything I’ve learned personally as a mum, gives me another perspective on childhood, disability, additional needs, family life and the systems that surround them.
Sometimes those worlds overlap.
Sometimes they collide.
And sometimes they give me plenty to say.
So you’ll find more than cancer stories here.
You’ll find parenting, family life, disability, additional needs, advocacy, education, the realities of everyday life, and probably a fair amount of humour along the way.
Because even in the hardest chapters, we’ve always tried to find the funny.
Every superhero story needs its superheroes.
aka Boo, Spud & T Bird
Tate is the reason The T Word exists.
He’s a superhero in the truest sense of the word and, in my entirely unbiased opinion, a much older and wiser soul than many of us.
His story began with a brain tumour.
But his story is so much more than cancer.
aka Poppet, Pickle & Pocket Rocket
Nell is Tate’s little sister, but don’t let the word little fool you.
She has her own place at the heart of this story and her own journey through everything that happened to our family.
I am in no way suggesting we are superheroes. We leave that for Tate and Nell to lead the way.
But there’s myself, Zoe, and Karen. Although separated, we co-parent our amazing children together and support each other to navigate our way through each new chapter that unfolds.
I can’t leave out the dogs that play a huge part in all our lives…
Tate’s ringing-the-bell present. Labrador, aka Twatador.
French bulldog siblings, aka Wally Dolly and Eeyore.
And there will be others introduced along the way…
The T Word isn’t about pretending that everything is perfect.
It’s about showing what life really looks like when your family is given a path you never expected to walk.
There will be honest stories.
There will be difficult days.
There will be things I struggle to put into words.
There will also be laughter, ridiculous moments, family chaos, celebrations, hope and plenty of reasons to keep going.
So pull up a chair, grab a cuppa and come along for the ride.
You never know what you’ll find around the next corner.
Welcome to The T Word.